She looked to be about fifteen. She was walking down the street in the evening, still wearing her school uniform. Her naturally slim build emphasized her bulging belly. I caught my breath at how young she was to be in that kind of a predicament. Still at school and pregnant. It must have been a situation that caused her anxiety and concern. Perhaps even shame. Certainly, she would be feeling the censure of all the judgmental eyes upon her. Too young. Silly girl. She’s ruined her life. She’ll never amount to anything. She’ll just be single mother relying on welfare all her life. She’ll never contribute anything to society. She’s not capable of bringing up a child. It would all be there, in the disapproving glances that assessed her age and life situation. In the hidden meanings of the half – heard comments. In the whispers as she passed by.
I wondered at how she came to be there. A mistake, one that cost her dearly? Or worse still, someone taking advantage of her? Plenty of that goes on. And the girl is left to pay for someone else’s crime against her.
I felt pity for her, regardless of the circumstances surrounding her situation. Then it occurred to me: this girl was taking the road less travelled. In an era when it’s easy to end a baby’s life, and no one has to know, this girl refused to do that. She was willing to bear the judgmental glances and snide remarks to give her child life. Regardless of whether she was able to raise the child herself or not, she was still willing to give it a chance at life. And that deserves a certain amount of admiration. Respect.
Let me share a story from Dennis Rainey:
“Recently a young man named Ryan shared with me this very personal story:
‘When my sister was born, there were problems during my mom’s pregnancy that made her unable to have more children. So my parents decided to pray for a miracle. They got down on their knees and prayed at the side of their bed every night for an entire year, but nothing happened. One year turned into two. Two quickly turned into three. Three turned into four. Four years of praying. Four years of hurting. Still, nothing happened.
Right about that time, there was a young couple in high school. They had been dating for a while, but the girl said, “This isn’t the guy I want to marry, and if I’m not going to marry him, I don’t want to keep dating him.” So they broke up. But a short time later, she found out she was pregnant with his baby. She didn’t know what to do – didn’t know if she should tell her parents, didn’t want them to be upset or mad or disappointed.
Finally, she just couldn’t take it any more. She broke down one night and told them. They didn’t know what to do either. They already had four kids. One more mouth wasn’t going to help things…They started meeting with a counselor, looking at options, shedding a lot of tears, and trying to decide what to do.
But the Lord took my parents’ inability to have more children, and He took that young couple’s high school indiscretion, and He meshed them together. On August 31, 1970, my parents, Jim and Shirley brought me home from an adoption center.
Stories like this are so rich with the loving sovereignty of God – how He takes two needy situations and unites them in one holy purpose. For His glory.
We must not forget that the choice of a young, frightened girl to stand in the face of a personal storm and believe God for something better is an act of sheer courage. Being pregnant and unmarried, though not as uncommon as it used to be, still invites sideways looks and quick glances at the young girl’s ring finger. To carry a child to term instead of choosing abortion, to endure the feelings of shame as a young girl begins to show, is an unavoidable embarrassment like few others. Giving life to her child means taking the road less travelled and enduring the often negative reactions of those around her.
Ryan, reflecting on the experience of his own birth mother, said, “I talk to adopted kids all the time who think that somehow they have been abandoned, and I say, ‘No, no, you have no idea what it means to go through a pregnancy.’ I’ve seen my wife go through it. I’ve seen how tired she is. And to think that a young seventeen year old girl did that for me, not being married – and on top of it all gave me up to give me a better life, never to see the rewards of it…”
Yes, Ryan, it is truly amazing. Perhaps you are watching an unmarried pregnancy up close in your neighbourhood, your church, your extended family, or maybe even in your own family. I pray that you will be the one who offers encouragement, strengthening her in the heroic decision to choose life for her child.”
What is our first reaction when we see a very young, very pregnant girl? I hope that I am able to see her the way God sees her: as a precious being, doing something that is not easy, and that I will be able to offer encouragement as she takes the road less travelled.
Story by Dennis Rainey