The girls were having lunch together, as they did every Tuesday. Inevitably, the talk turned to men.
“I’d like to find someone who can make me laugh,” said Hannah. “And good looks wouldn’t hurt a bit!” They all giggled. They knew her type: tall, lean, with dark hair and blue eyes. Someone funny and athletic. Ugly was out of the question.
“I’m not as fussy about looks as you,” Sarah told her. “But he has to be CLEAN. Someone who cares about his appearance. And tidy. I can’t stand slobs about the house.”
“Me neither,” chimed in Jane. “But above and beyond that, I’d like someone that I can have an intelligent conversation with because I’d like brainy guys.”
“Oooh, you need a geek!” teased Nicki. “I just want someone who is fun and likes being active.” She paused. “Maybe someone who plays a sport or something. I want someone I can do things with.”
“You’re very quiet, Lise,” observed Sarah.
“Well, I was just thinking.”
“Come on then, spill the beans!”
“All of you seem to like men with qualities that are visible or tangible, but I can’t put my finger on something specific that would attract me to someone.” The other girls were listening intently.
“So, in the past, when you have been attracted to someone, what did they look like?” Hannah wanted to know. Lisa grinned.
“Oh, they’ve all been ordinary to ugly,” she said. “You guys wouldn’t give them a second glance.”
“So why did you?” asked Nicki. “Did they have money? Money helps make someone ugly look more attractive!” Lisa laughed.
“I honestly wouldn’t know,” she replied. “Actually, when I think about it, they were all people with specific qualities in common. Not that any of the relationships went very far, mostly because of circumstances.”
“So what was it – you just like ugly guys?” Hannah was having a hard time comprehending this astounding revelation.
“No. I like guys who are kind and have good hearts and think of others besides themselves. And I’m sure if I’d been able to get to know them better, they would have also been loyal and honest in the long term.”
“So, don’t you think good looking guys can be those things too?” asked Jane.
“Possibly,” replied Lisa. ” I just haven’t met any myself.”
Electric Moments
Scientific research reveals that neurons in our hearts and brains emit energy, in the form of electromagnetic waves. Of the two, the energy radiated by our hearts is by far the strongest. During the 1990s, Dr Oscar Brunler conducted studies that showed that when a person is healthy, each organ in the body emits a specific, measurable, vibrating wavelength frequency.
One of the more interesting findings that came from this field of research is that touch between human beings impacts on each person’s electromagnetic energy levels. Karl Pribrum, a former professor and researcher at the University of Stanford in California, studied the relationship between emotions and electromagnetic energy. He concluded that as a person genuinely cares about others, their own electromagnetic field becomes cohesive – meaning that the more you care, the better it is for your own health and wellbeing.
Giving and Receiving
This electromagnetic exchange is a two-way street. Not only are we able to give, we can also receive. The body’s neurons can transmit and receive, which means that my heart and brain can detect the electromagnetic information coming from yours. Not only that, the type of energy can vary considerably, according to emotions and thought habits. Have you ever been around someone who made you feel good right away? Chances are, your body was picking up positive electromagnetic information from theirs, and it made you feel good. The reverse is also true – you can feel uncomfortable or experience other negative emotions from someone who is emitting negative electromagnetic information – even if they haven’t said a word!
But, what does all this have to do with Mr Right?
Listen To Your Heart
- Listen to your heart when it comes to others – try not to see them just with your eyes. Observe what you can feel about that person, too. Are they peaceful? Energetic? Tense? Angry? What kind of emotions are you sensing?
- It is usually hardship that builds character and often the greatest inner beauty comes from a life of hard experiences. What kind of life experiences has the other person had? If you know them well enough, ask what they have learned from those experiences, and try to see how it has shaped them into who they are today.
- Get to know a person well before taking the relationship – friendship or romance – to a deeper level of trust and disclosure. A truly trustworthy person will value you enough to be patient with the process.
- If someone is beautiful on the outside, don’t assume that they are shallow or vain! Get to know them on their own merits, rather than as a stereotype. Beautiful people can feel judged and unworthy because they are beautiful in the same way that plain people feel unworthy because of their looks. Look for a beautiful heart. Ugly is in the eye of the beholder – to rephrase that old saying.
- When you do connect with someone, and they just feel like a good “fit”, it is wise to still take your time to get to know them well before taking the relationship to a deeper level. Use your head as well as your heart, and you’re more likely to have that happy ending!
Does Beautiful On The Inside Mean Ugly On The Outside?
It was Tuesday again, and the girls were at their favourite lunch spot. After the usual chatter about work and pets and family members, Hannah turned to Helen, a newcomer to the Tuesday lunch scene.
“Last week we had a bit of a debate about good looks versus intangible qualities like kindness,” she said. “What do you think?” It took Helen a moment to respond.
“Well, I think you can have both, but it’s not that common,” she said after some thought. “Mostly, it seems to be the ordinary looking guys that have the good hearts.”
“Why do you say that?” Jane asked. They were all listening intently.
The Voice of Experience
“Well, I can speak from my own experience, so it’s first-hand information,” Helen said. “I was married once, to the most drop dead gorgeous guy. At first, I couldn’t believe that he’d be interested in me. I felt that I didn’t measure up to him in any way when it came to looks – I felt plain, even ugly, next to him. He was a charmer, too – he totally swept me off my feet in a whirlwind romance, and we married six months after we met.” All the girls were quiet and finally Helen continued.
“I thought all my dreams had come true because he was everything I’d ever wanted.” She paused. “But I wasn’t the only one to think so. Other women were attracted to him too, by the dozen. They fell over each other as well as me to get him. He never made it plain that he was off limits, either. They took no notice of the fact that he was married – even making brazen advances while I was sitting right next to him. And he lapped it up. As a result, it was no surprise when I began hearing whispers of infidelity. It utterly broke my heart.” The girls were silent, trying to imagine being in Helen’s shoes.
“So what happened?” Sarah finally asked.
“He left me for a short-term fling with one of his most persistent admirers and for a long time, I blamed myself. It all boiled down to one thing: that I wasn’t good enough. Someone better came along. I was too plain and ugly. But then I started to realize how silly that was: no matter how good I could have been, there would always be someone better because the real villain was him. He was selfish and vain and chose me because I was plain and ordinary and would never want to leave him for someone else – because to his way of thinking I’d find it hard to find someone else. He just used me, kind of like a pleasant convenience, until someone more exciting came along. His life was constructed to be all about him because there was no room in it for anyone else.”
I Can’t Do Ugly!
“That’s so sad,” said Jane.
“It was quite a while ago,” Helen replied. “Right now I’m glad we didn’t have children because I can be free and be myself. I would have been stuck and unhappy had the marriage lasted.” She looked around at the girls. “Besides, I’ve been seeing someone for about a year, and he is beautiful on the inside. He’s not much to look at on the outside, but he has a heart of gold. He’s kind and caring, and sincere, and I’m learning to trust him more and more. It’s taken me a while, but he’s very patient, and we’ve even been thinking about getting married.” There was a ripple of excitement among the girls.
“Make sure we’re invited!” joked Jane.
“We love weddings, don’t we girls?” added Sarah. Helen grinned.
“I expect that after this you’ll all go out and find some man who is beautiful on the inside too,” she said. Hannah was unconvinced.
“Does that mean ugly?” she asked. “Because I’m not sure I can do ugly.” They all roared laughing because it was such a Hannah thing to say. But finally, Helen became serious.
Beautiful on the Inside
“You know how it happened to me?” she asked. They shook their heads. “At first I wasn’t interested. I didn’t think there was any romantic spark or physical attraction, but he seemed nice, and I thought we could just be friends for a while and see where it went.” Helen looked directly at Hannah. “But when I saw his good qualities, and I realized that he had a beautiful heart, I fell in love with that. And when I fell in love with his heart, the outside started to look different to me, too. I began to love his looks and the quirky little things that make him who he is and I finally realized that I’d found gold. I’d far rather a beautiful heart than a pretty face. I guess, if you’re lucky, you might have both, but I think those people are scarce.”
“What a choice,” Hannah said, screwing up her nose. They all laughed.
“Why don’t you try it?” Helen said. “Don’t dismiss a guy if you’re not instantly attracted to him because he might be exactly what you’re looking for if you give him a chance.” She grinned. “Mr Right might be hiding right next to you. You just haven’t seen him yet because you’re looking at the outside. Go on, give him a chance!”
References:
http://engineering.mit.edu/ask/can-brain-waves-interfere-radio-waves
http://www.webmd.com/epilepsy/electroencephalogram-eeg-21508?page=2
https://bolstablog.wordpress.com/2010/09/13/mr-right/