Love must be sincere.

Romans 12:9

Jesus tells us to love our enemies and to do good to those that do us harm. And we agree that we should because He said it – love must be sincere. But how easy is it to do? How easy is it to refuse to harbour bitterness towards someone who has betrayed our trust or gossiped or slandered us behind our backs? Do we smile and act as if nothing is wrong on the outside but seethe with anger on the inside? Are our smiles insincere as we hide our real feelings towards someone that has hurt us?

Do We Have to Feel Loving?

When Jesus said to love our enemies, does that mean that we have to feel loving towards someone who has caused us harm? Or does it mean that we simply don’t harm them in return? It’s the easy path to take; if we avoid that person or situation, we can avoid behaving in ways that are unloving.

Of course, there are situations we should avoid. Some people are toxic to our happiness and well-being and have no place in our lives. Jesus doesn’t tell us to place ourselves in harm’s way in order to fulfill His command to love our enemies. So what is He actually talking about?

Our Love Must Be Sincere

Paul tells us that our love must be sincere. If we are loving on the outside but full of full of anger or bitterness on the inside, that is not sincere love. And sooner or later what is inside will come out if we allow it to remain there. Proverbs has some wise advice for us:

Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.

Proverbs 4:23

This falls into line with Paul’s instructions to love sincerely. We must diligently guard our hearts against evil seeds springing to life. Anger, bitterness, envy, rage, hate and other negative emotions will sooner or later manifest themselves in our actions or attitudes. These things will take over our lives if we allow them space. This is why our love must be sincere. If it is not, we are in danger of cultivating a harvest of strife.

But how do we do that? It is not easy to feel loving towards someone who has wronged you. In fact, it is impossible for our sinful natures to love another person who has caused us pain or harm. It feels, and is, utterly unnatural.

Is God Angry at Us?

Think about the character of God. Is His love sincere? He has every right to be angry at us. We have violated His laws, hurt Him, and messed up the world He created. He could harbour anger at us on a daily basis for the things we do that are contrary to His ways. But that is not Who He is. He cannot be angry on the inside and act lovingly on the outside. His love must be sincere to be in line with His character. His actions and feelings are in harmony and result in love that is completely sincere, even though we don’t deserve it.

Genuine Love is Sincere

Jesus knew that His commands to love our enemies and to love sincerely would be impossible for us to fulfil. Our sinful natures just don’t have that ability. That’s why He tells us to abide in Him because He does. That’s why He could pray for His persecutors when He was hanging on the cross. It’s why Stephen was able to pray for his murderers before he died. His heart was full of Jesus and therefore it was full of genuine love. There was no room for normal human responses to injustice because Jesus was there and His presence replaced those things with love.

When we are faced with a reason to harbour anger or bitterness, it’s time to fill our hearts with Jesus. He is the only way that we can love sincerely. We need His presence to fill us so that there is no room for anything but Him. And when we do that, others will see that we have been with Him.