“God, help me!” The cry came from somewhere deep within. The blackness was terrifying. It filled the air in a suffocating swirl of fear. The problem was, it was on the inside. It was invisible. On the outside, normal life went on, the comforting routine of the ordinary. But on the inside, chaos reigned. The cry for help was on the inside, too.
It was impossible to sleep for more than a few troubled minutes at a time. Fatigue and exhaustion were companions to the pervasive fear that sucked away all life and joy. She knew she couldn’t continue this life. One day, it would snuff out the last spark of vitality and all that would be left would be a little, dried-out shell. She would be gone, the essence of who she was sacrificed on the altar of fear. Despite the terror and the pain, she didn’t want that to happen. Deep within, she wanted to be free and a tiny corner of her heart still believed that she deserved to live an abundant, fulfilling life.
Run Away from Love
She thought it was easy, to run away from love. But this love wasn’t the kind, gentle, considerate sort of love. This love was demanding and cruel and violent. It insisted on having its own way at all times and spread a net of fear all around it. Her love was never enough, never would be. “God, help me!” she cried out in the terrifying silence within. And sometime in the awful blackness of the darkest night, a tiny spark formed within her. It was the tiniest little glow of hope that God had heard and that he cared. And somehow, this little light bloomed into just enough courage to run away.
Hide from Him
She managed to hide from him, or at least, she thought she had. But during the nights, the terror would creep back. The darkness of a sleeping world magnified her vulnerability. It made her feel more alone than she had ever been in her life. Would he come and find her? If she got up to go to the bathroom, would he be waiting for her? What about when she walked down the stairs? Terror stalked her mercilessly, its bony fingers squeezing her tighter and tighter until she could scarcely breathe.
“God, help me!”
Her cry was silent, yet she felt that He heard. The waves of terror that threatened to engulf her receded enough that she could catch her breath. She felt the storm still swirling around her, yet she seemed to be in a place of calm. The storm seemed to be outside of her, at a distance. It hadn’t gone away; it was still close enough to touch, but it was no longer about to consume her. She was shielded from it somehow, by something bigger than herself.
Prayer for Guidance
After that time, there were still storms and tempests, but none were as intense as that one. She got into the habit of talking to God as if He were her friend, and in time, she came to an understanding with Him. Whenever she felt overwhelmed and that the terror would bring her down, she would cry out, “God, help me!” In return, she felt that He did. She was always rewarded with enough strength to take the next step. The fear would stay away just far enough that it didn’t consume her.
She realized that she needed to be in touch with her God more and she began with a prayer for guidance each day. She never told anyone about it; if she were truthful, there was no one she could trust with her newfound knowledge of God. But she came to feel that He was her best friend. She told Him everything, and was rewarded with a peace that she had never known before. Even when the fear swirled in the middle of the night, she knew she would come out the other side of it. Her Friend was with her and had never let her down. She came to a place where she couldn’t imagine living without her God. Her frequent cries of “God, help me!” were rewarded with a peaceful feeling of His presence close by.
Healing and Deliverance
One day, she woke up and realized that she had slept soundly all night. There were no dreams, no nightmares, no feeling of suffocating terror to jerk her awake. Over the next few months, she had more and more peaceful nights, until she finally realized that it had been a long time since the fear had arisen to choke her as she slept.
She examined her life and found that she was happy again. She was loved by Someone who would never leave her or forsake her. His love was real; it gave her the freedom to be herself. She was free to talk to the people of her choice and to go to places that were forbidden in the past. That didn’t mean that she was foolish. There was always the possibility that he would find her and she was careful where she went. But as she got braver, she explored her world with a hunger that arose from years of being denied the simple pleasures of life. 
She wasn’t sure if she would ever fall in love with a man again. But the God she loved would always be in her life, leading her to new heights of healing and fulfillment. She was happy, at peace, and free. With God, she was enough. Her need to be needed by another human being no longer consumed her. She could be contented without the love of a man. That didn’t mean she didn’t get lonely; there were times when she did. But the loneliness was always tempered by the knowledge that she was loved by someone bigger than all of mistakes and problems and emotional storms of her life. And the best part? She was free to tell others about what she had found in the One who loved her.