I laughed when I saw it. A meme on social media that said “I was only responsible for the first nine months. After that, you were exposed to your father!” And although it was funny, there was a wry grain of truth in it: when our kids do well, we love to claim the credit, but when they embarrass us or get into trouble, well, the other half of the genetic equation is a handy scapegoat. We don’t like to admit that “my child inherited more than my genes.”
Good News And Bad News: My Child Inherited More Than My Genes
The truth is, my child DID inherit more than my genes. Someone commented recently that Rosie is like me in personality, while TD is like Michael. In fact, TD is so much like Michael that I’ve wondered if he somehow got cloned, and maybe I had nothing to do with it. Yet, there are ways that I can see he is like me: they are just not so obvious. And unfortunately for them, I can see some of my weaknesses repeated in the next generation. Indeed, my child inherited more than my genes. Are weaknesses genetic? Some, perhaps. But others are learned – which is good news because it means that they can be unlearned. And that I can make a decisive effort to override them and model good traits of character instead.
Gino & Mark Stocco
In 2015, father and son duo Gino and Mark Stocco went on a crime spree that led police to chase the fugitives over thousands of kilometres and two states. It began in Wagga Wagga, NSW, when a humble traffic patrol officer pulled them over and tried to arrest them over a previous outstanding warrant. This unlucky upholder of law and order soon found out that he was dealing with more than he could handle: they shot a high powered assault rifle into his car, disabling it, then made a hasty getaway.
A trail of destruction followed as they crossed borders and evaded police for many days. Stealing vehicles became their main means of evading capture, and their stolen guns went with them. A history of violent crimes turned up as police and reported shone the spotlight on their past: for eight years, from northern QLD to Victoria, they had roamed the countryside, earning money from cash jobs, and getting into frequent violent disputes with employers and coworkers. Robbery was their speciality; Mark Stocco, the younger of the two, had even robbed his own mother in a Melbourne carpark!
After 12 days on the run, the law finally got the better of the pair. A search of the property where they last worked revealed the body of its owner, missing for over a month. They were charged with his murder and a host of other offences.
Peter Stocco Said…
The Herald Sun contacted Peter Stocco, Gino’s father, for his take on the whole thing. He expressed disappointment in the choices the pair had made and said he hadn’t even spoken to them for several years. A law abiding citizen himself, it was baffling to him to observe the behaviour of his own offspring – and he’s not alone. Frequently the parents of people who commit crimes are baffled, hurt, and express outrage at what their children have done. Surely children don’t inherit criminal tendencies?
We may never know the answer to that question. There is still much that researchers don’t know in the field of genetics. We don’t know all there is to know about what personality traits are inherited from our parents, and how they come to be expressed under varying circumstances. In the Stocco case, what is clear is that at some point, Gino Stocco chose to live a life of crime, and his son Mark took on the same choice to the point that bad character traits were the same in both of them. They were both liars, thieves, and murderers. We don’t know what led to these choices, or the influences that shaped their lives before they turned to crime, but the end result was that Gino could indeed say “My child inherited more than my genes.” Like father, like son, in the worst possible way.
Celebrity Genes
In the surreal world of celebrities, much is made of genetics whenever a celebrity has a child. Media frenzies erupt whenever a celebrity parent and child go out in public. Does the child have the star’s talent? Is the child stunningly beautiful like the parent? From babyhood, these children experience massive expectations simply by reason of their genetic inheritance. The rest of the world expects them to be beautiful, talented, and successful. And when they fail to live up to these expectations, the world takes delight in exposing their failings. It is somehow gratifying to revel in the idea that in spite of the amazing genetic inheritance they have been gifted with, these people are human after all. They mess up and fail, and we enjoy the spectacle, assuring ourselves that we are in some way better than that. 
But are we really? What character traits are we teaching our kids? Are they good ones? When my child inherited more than my genes, what exactly did he inherit? What is she learning from me day by day? Is the legacy of character that I am leaving with my children one that will stand them in good stead in the future? Am I modelling integrity? Trustworthiness? Commitment? Honesty?
My Child Inherited More Than My Genes
While science may be yet to provide answers as to exactly what our children inherit from us, it is no secret that they copy our behaviour. And in that sense, they are inheriting something from us each day. Our attitudes towards health, lifestyle and our bodies. Our concern (or lack of it) for those who are hurting, less fortunate, or in difficult circumstances. We need to see those around us practice empathy in order to learn it ourselves. Another thing our children learn from us is life management skills – time management, money management, decision-making skills, social skills, and relationship skills. Kids need us to show them how to do these things – the right way. Good conflict management is especially important for the success of their future relationships: they model what they see.
Yes, my child inherited more than my genes. And I’d like to be pleased about that, so I must make sure that my kids see something worth inheriting from me. Something that will lead them to be well-adjusted adults who have learned the skills they need for a worthwhile and fulfilling life.
References:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/75282-parents-effect-child-behavior/